Learning from the Best and Worst Leaders: A Call for Balanced, Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or have been at the helm for decades, one truth remains: we are all shaped by the leaders we've encountered. Some inspired us to rise. Others taught us what not to become. Both types leave an imprint, but it’s up to you to decide which lessons you’ll carry forward.

Leadership is not about mimicking authority or adopting bad habits in hopes of appearing strong or “stern.” Leading with ego, withholding credit, or creating emotional distance doesn’t make you powerful. It makes you disconnected. And disconnected leaders don’t lead effectively. They might control outcomes temporarily, but they rarely inspire trust, growth, or sustained results.

Leadership is a balancing act. It’s not about being overly bubbly to be liked or overly rigid to be respected. True leadership requires emotional intelligence, fairness, clarity, and courage. It’s about treating people with dignity regardless of their title. It’s about giving credit where it’s due, listening without condescension, and being consistent both in person and in writing.

Even something as simple as how quickly or selectively you respond to emails sends a message. If you only prioritize messages from those in positions of power while ignoring junior staff or peers, you’re revealing what and who you value. Great leaders don’t just manage up. They lead across and down with the same level of integrity.

It’s also important to be honest about the different kinds of great leadership. Not all strong leaders are warm or bubbly every day. Some of the most effective leaders are the ones who stand their ground when it matters most. They make tough decisions when others avoid them. They set boundaries. They speak up. They don’t seek popularity. They lead with purpose.

On the flip side, poor leadership can also be seen in what’s chosen to be shared or not shared. Some leaders spend more time promoting their image, sharing superficial wins, or inflating their accomplishments, while withholding the very information their teams need to do their jobs well. They avoid real decisions that require accountability and dodge transparency when it’s most needed. This behavior not only slows progress. It erodes trust.

This is not about exclamation points or forced friendliness. It’s about presence, principles, and priorities. Leadership isn’t a performance. It’s a responsibility. And it should never depend on who’s watching or what’s trending.

Learn from the best leaders, the ones who challenged and empowered you. But also learn from the worst, the ones who led from fear, ego, or avoidance. Let their missteps remind you of the leader you refuse to become.

Leadership is not a title. It’s a daily decision. Make it count.