The Hard Truth About Leadership: You Can’t Change Everyone, and That’s Okay
As a leader, one of the most difficult lessons to accept is this: not everyone is going to change under your leadership. No matter how visionary you are, how well you communicate, or how many professional development courses you offer, some people simply won’t transform. And that’s not a reflection of your leadership failure. It’s just reality.
Leadership is often romanticized as the power to inspire, mold, and uplift every person on your team. While that’s a beautiful ideal, the truth is that leadership is just as much about discernment as it is about inspiration. It is about knowing who to invest in, who needs support, and sometimes, who needs to go.
Start with the Right People
The best leadership strategy isn’t waiting to rescue or rehabilitate. It starts with hiring the right people from the beginning. Bringing in individuals whose values align with your mission, who thrive in the kind of culture you're building, and who are open to growth makes your leadership far more effective. When the foundation is solid, your efforts as a leader will amplify what’s already there.
However, when you bring in toxic energy such as entitlement, chronic negativity, resistance to accountability, or a refusal to collaborate, you are choosing to fight a battle that leadership alone may not win. Toxicity is contagious. Even the most well-intentioned team can crumble under the weight of one wrong fit.
Cutting Ties Is a Leadership Strength
Letting someone go is never easy, but sometimes it is the most respectful thing you can do for them and for the rest of your team. Keeping someone in a role they’re not built for or not ready for doesn’t serve anyone. Often, those same individuals may thrive elsewhere or at a different stage in life. They may grow, but not under your leadership. That is not only acceptable, it is wise to recognize it.
You are not a failure for being unable to change someone. You are a leader for knowing when it is time to stop trying.
Training Can't Fix What Values Won’t Support
Leadership development is powerful. Training, coaching, and mentoring can produce incredible results, but only if the person is ready to receive it. If the will isn’t there and the mindset is closed off, no amount of workshops will make a difference. Leadership development can sharpen skills and shift perspectives, but it cannot implant values or self-awareness. Those must come from within.
Leadership Is Clarity, Not Control
Effective leadership is not about controlling outcomes or forcing change. It is about creating clarity. Clarity about what your team stands for. Clarity about what behaviors are acceptable. Clarity about who belongs on the journey and who does not.
You are not called to save everyone. You are called to build something great with people who are ready, willing, and aligned.
Be bold in your standards. Be intentional with your hiring. Be compassionate, but clear, when it is time to part ways. Not everyone is meant to change under your leadership, and that is not your burden to carry. Your responsibility is to lead with wisdom and courage. Sometimes, that means letting go.