As a leader, one of the most difficult lessons to accept is this: not everyone is going to change under your leadership. No matter how visionary you are, how well you communicate, or how many professional development courses you offer, some people simply won’t transform. And that’s not a reflection of your leadership failure. It’s just reality.

Leadership is often romanticized as the power to inspire, mold, and uplift every person on your team. While that’s a beautiful ideal, the truth is that leadership is just as much about discernment as it is about inspiration. It is about knowing who to invest in, who needs support, and sometimes, who needs to go.

You can have a fun committee, weekly trivia, and a wall of motivational posters, but if no one’s delivering, none of it means much. There’s a growing trend among leaders to chase “culture” by adding more perks, more laughs, and more feel-good fluff. And while there’s nothing wrong with a little levity, too many organizations are mistaking distraction for direction. When fun takes priority over focus, it doesn’t just slow you down; it shows up in your outcomes. The people you serve won’t be fooled. The proof will be in the pudding.

There is a growing conversation on TikTok about the butterfly effect, the idea that small, seemingly insignificant actions can ripple outward and create profound, wide-reaching changes. While often discussed in terms of fate or coincidence, this concept holds an even deeper meaning for leaders.

Too many people today hold leadership titles but lack leadership maturity.

Leadership is not cliques.
It is not passive aggressive jabs.
It is not imaginary beef fueled by insecurity or ego.

This is not high school.
This is leadership.
And leadership comes with a higher standard.

It is time to stop mistaking free pizza for progress. The workforce you are leading now is not the same as the one you managed a decade ago. Many organizations are still trying to lead with outdated playbooks: superficial perks, performative meetings, and empty promises of "we are like family." That narrative is expired. This new generation of talent sees through the gimmicks and they are not afraid to walk away from anything that compromises their values, time, or mental health.